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01-17-2005, 01:34 PM
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| #1 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member  Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Uk Age: 35
Posts: 79
Rep Power: 5    | Women want to keep your man happy? Women want to keep your man happy? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Women want to keep your man happy? Want to keep him from cheating or leaving you? Well I have made a simple guide that if you follow, you should maintain a healthy relationship and keep him happy for as long as you want. 1. Oral sex - if you don't go down on your man, you are definitely headed for trouble. Sooner or later someone will be willing to do it if you won't, so I suggest learning to love it. if you are one of the many women out there who don't give head it Basically all boils down to laziness, if you applied yourself and took the time to learn what your man likes, you can get this technique perfected and will have him putty in your hands. Now you must swallow, I don't care what you've heard, anything else is just impolite. If your not dedicated enough to complete the blowjob properly, just don't even attempt it. Because I care so much about this I have decided to add a few links to help all you women out there perfect the art of the Blowjob, and yes I'm willing to be the guinea pig. 2. Sexual positions - No man wants to just bang you while being on top. Most men prefer the woman to be on top, so they can see how much their partner likes their huge manhood. We also like variety, we like to bang you doggy style while making funny faces and giving high fives to imaginary people, and we also like to hide video tapes in the closet, so be aware. So please if you want to keep your man, learn how to work that ass, if you are stiff and boring in bed, he is already looking for your replacement. 3. Be vocal - This is important in bed. If you like him being a little rough with you, tell him so. If you want to see him bang your sister while wearing your panties and you watch, let him know! Nothing is hotter than some dirty talk from your woman, while you're giving her the old sausage. Most men prefer a woman who screams in bed, but don't fake it. Nothing will kill the sexual experience like knowing that your woman fakes her orgasms. So women, be honest and point your man in the right direction, no matter what direction that is. If dressing up like a midget and eating chicken off of your stomach gets you off, we will do it. Just be vocal and let us know what's going on. 4. Be Creative - If you're a woman who says that she is not into anything kinky, and nothing out of the ordinary turns you on. You have just obviously haven't found the spark that starts your engine yet. That or, your too shy to get some of these things started. I can tell you know that if you ask your man to spank your ass red as he's ****ing you from the back, he will happily oblige. If you think it's embarrassing to want to shove anal beads up your ass and have your man pull them out with his teeth, think again. Your man wants you to be kinky, he wants you to be a dirty little whore for him, you just have to open yourself up. Just remember this; there is always somebody out there that will be willing to do what you won't. For the record; hair pulling and spanking are mandatory, and are not considered kinky, not since the late 90's anyway. 5. Let him watch sports - If his favorite football team is playing, leave him the **** alone for at least 4 hrs. He doesn't care about you or anything else other than the pigskin that is being passed around the field by guys in tight pants who slap each other on the ass constantly. 6. Let him be himself - If he checks out other women in front of you, let it be. It's 100% natural for him to look at other women. If he starts checking out men, leave the relationship immediately. Women you have to stop being so insecure about yourselves if you want a healthy relationship, if he has to act like someone else and wear blinders when you two go out, he's not the man for you. 7. DO NOT NAG - Do not nag about something over and over again, day after day. He doesn't want to hear about how he's not supposed to leave his socks on the back of the couch. Asking nicely will get a lot more done and will not classify you as a "bitch" to his friends. 8. Surprise him with food - Nothing will bring a smile to your man's face then surprising him with his favorite meal or a big bag of nachos. 9. Give him space - When he wants some time alone, please give it to him. Sometimes we want a few minutes (or hours) to ourselves to watch porn or to pick our nose. 10. Share your friends with him in the bedroom - This last one is a shot in the dark here, but if you have hot friends and it's his birthday, how about a 3 some? Nothing will make a relationship last longer, than multiple sex partners. I hope this will help some of you maintain a healthy and happy relationship. Just follow these guidelines and nothing can go wrong. Like I give a fuck anyway. |
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01-17-2005, 06:40 PM
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| #6 (permalink) | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 7,908
Rep Power: 13 | Quote:
she better read, study, and remember this. there will be a pop quiz and a bad grade will land her on her ass :slap: | |
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