JOKES..........ANYTHING GOES!!!

[Colossus]

O.K. anybody got good jokes. No holds barred. Racist jokes, sexist jokes........lets hear it.

[BigDick]

Originally Posted by colossus

O.K. anybody got good jokes. No holds barred. Racist jokes, sexist jokes........lets hear it.

Q: Why do niggers have flat noses?
A: That's where GOD put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.

Q: Why don't niggers have check books?
A: They find it too hard to sign their names in spray paint.

Q: What's the definition of nigger foreplay?
A: Don't scream bitch or I'll kill you.

Q: Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?
A: They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

Q: What is a nigger's favorite anti-perspirant?
A: Unemployment.

Q: How do you tell if a nigger has been shot in the head?
A: By the hole in his ghetto blaster.

Q: Why don't niggers like country music?
A: When they hear the words "hoe-down" they think their sister's been shot.

Q: What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A: A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

Q: If white woman have piss flaps, what do nigger woman have?
A: Mud flaps.

Q: Why did the D.C. Park Commission count only 400000 people at the Million Man March?
A: They missed the 600000 in the trees.

Q: Did you hear of the new Black Barbie?
A: It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

Q: How come there are so few black astronauts?
A: They don't like saying "yes nasa, no nasa..."

Q: How many men does it take to carry a niggers coffin?
A: Eight. Six to carry the coffin and two to carry the radio.

Q: What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?
A: A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing!

Q: Why do niggers like fingerbowls in restaurants?
A: So they can wash the silverware before they steal it.

Q: Why do niggers have big nostrils?
A: Because that's where god held them when he spray painted them.

Q: What do you call 100 old niggers in a barn?
A: Antique farming equipment.

Q: What's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four

Q: What does the KKK have in common with anabolic steroids?
A: They both make niggers run like fuck.

Q: What is the definition for 'Mass Confusion'?
A: Father's Day in Harlem.

Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march?
A: An auctioneer!

Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A: A dumber gorilla.

Q: Why do white people tan if they get some sun, but burn if they get too much?
A: God didn't want any more niggers.

Q: What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see
....your TV floating?
A: Drop it nigger!

Q: What do niggers and apples have in common?
A: They both look good hanging from trees.

Q: What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
A: Batman can go out at night without Robin.

Q: Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?
A: It comes in a spray can.

Q: What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?
A: It's still legal to own a pit-bull.

Q: What do you say to a black man in uniform?
A: "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."

Q: Why do blacks walk the way they do?
A: Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging
....a coat hanger.

Q: Did you hear about the nigger who wore a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
A: He said, "If I'm going to be impotent, I'm going to look impotent."

Q: Who won the race down the tunnel, the nigger or the Pole?
A: The Pole because the nigger had to stop to write "motherfucker" on the wall.

Q: What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?
A: He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.

Q: How can an Ethiopian woman tell when she's pregnant?
A: When she pulls out her tampon and it's half eaten.

Q: Did you hear about the big boot sale out at the western store?
A: There is a pair of beautiful white boots-they're $7,500.00- and are made from human skin.
....But you can get the same boot in black for $19.95.

Q: Why don't niggers celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: "Kentucky Fried Chicken" isn't open on holidays.

Q: Why do niggers hate aspirin?
A: Because they're white, they work, and you have to dig
....through cotton to get 'em.

Q: How do you know when an Ethiopian is going to be sick?
A: Another is following with a bowl and spoon.

Q: Why do niggers use mustard on their tootsie rolls?
A: So they don't eat their fingers.

Q: Why are there nude pictures of black women?
A: So apes can masturbate too.

Q: How come there were no black people in the Flintstones?
A: They were all apes back then.

Q: What would they have called the Flintstones if they were black?
A: Niggers.

Q: What did the black kid get for Christmas?
A: My bike.

Q: How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit?
A: Nine months.

Q: Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?
A: That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.

Q: What's the difference between good nigger kids and bad nigger kids?
A: Good nigger kids are in medium security prisons.

Q: How do you kill a nigger?
A: Drive down the road at 100mph, then stick his head out
....of the window, and his lips will beat him to death.

Q: What do you call 15 niggers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What's long, black, and smelly?
A: The un-employment line in front of the welfare office

Q: How do you know Adam and Eve weren't black?
A: Ever try to take ribs away from a nigger?

Q: Why do niggers smell?
A: So blind people can hate them to.

Q: How do you kill a nigger when he is drinking?
A: Slam the toilet lid.

Q: Did you hear about the two black guys on "That's Incredible?"
A: One had a job, and the other knew his father.

Q: How do you scare a nigger?
A: Take him to an auction.

Q: What do you call four niggers in a new Cadillac?
A: Grand Theft Auto.

Q: What do you call it when a black man rapes a white woman?
A: Forced bussing.

Q: What do you call it when a white man rapes a black woman?
A: Stocking the plantation.

Q: What do you do if you run over a nigger?
A: Reverse.

Q: What do you call a hitchhiking nigger?
A: Stranded.

Q: How can you tell if a nigger girl is not wearing any panties?
A: She has dandruff on her shoes.

Q: What does NAACP stand for?
A1: Niggers, Apes, And Colored People.
A2: National Association of Apes Coons and possums
A3: Now Apes Are Called People.
A4: National Association of American Crop Pickers.

Q: What do you get if you put odor eaters in a niggers shoes?
A: Half a mile down the road you get a gold tooth, a radio, and
....a pair of tennis shoes.

Q: What do nigger kids use instead of Play-Doh ?
A: Fresh dog shit.

Q: Why do niggers always have sex on their minds?
A: Because they have pubic hair on their heads.

Q: What are the six words you never ever want to hear?
A: "Hi, I be yo' new neighbor."

Q. What is the difference between a nigger and a bucket of shit?
A. The Bucket.

Q: What is 10 niggers in bottom of river?
A: Pollution.

Q: What is 10000000 in bottom of river?
A: Solution.

Q. Why don't sharks attack niggers?
A. They mistake them for whale shit.

Q: Why are they using niggers instead of laboratory rats in experiments now?
A: They breed faster and you don't get so attached to them.

Q: What does both Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?
A: Their both niggers.

Q: Why aren't Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles able to read?
A: Because they are both niggers.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
....nigger in the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What do you call a black test tube baby?
A: Janitor in a jar.

Q: What is the only thing wrong with five niggers going off a cliff in a Cadillac?
A: The car holds six.

Q: How do you starve a nigger?
A: Hide his welfare check under his work boots.

Q: How do you keep a nigger out of the front yard?
A: You hang one in the backyard.

Q: What is eight miles long and has an IQ of 67?
A: The "Martin Luther King Day" parade

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What is the mother's name from the Jetson's?
-Judy

What is the father's name?
-George

What is the son's name?
-Elroy

What is the daughter's name?
-Jane

What is the dog's name?
-Astro

What is the black guy's name?
-There isn't no black guy

*Isn't the future great!*





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"You know you're a hood momma if?"

1. Your idea of high fashion is spandex and faux leopard
2. Your nails are more than an inch long.
3. You've got a ring for every finger and you wear them all at once.
4. Your jam is Missy's "Sock It to Me."
5. You take your toddlers to "R"-rated movies.
6. You've been on welfare more than three years.
7. You ever got your hair "did."
8. You think you're high class cause you've had Cristal.
9. You named your kids anything ending in "sha," as in Aiesha, Laquesha, Moesha.
10. Your name ends in "sha."
11. Your man is in jail.
12. Your man just got out of jail.
13. You ever threw a tv (or any other appliance) at a man.
14. You ever crawled out of a club because a fight broke out.
15. You ever started a fight in a club cause someone looked at your man.
16. You ever started a fight cause you didn't like the way someone looked at you.
17. You'd rather have a big screen tv than a computer.
18. You think blue contacts look good on you.
19. You ever said, "I love-ded-ded my man."
20. You ever said, "I love me some him."
21. You like a man with a gold tooth
22. You've got a gold tooth.
23. You've worn more than one hairstyle at a time (you know, finger waves on the left, crimps on the right, braids in the back)
24. You've purchased buy 1, get 1 free shoes.
25. You carry your baby on your hip.
26. You've got a baby on each hip.
27. You've ever traded food stamps for anything.
28. You've got a boyfriend and a man on the side.
29. You like to brag, "Ain't no shame in my game."
30. You gotta go down the street to use the phone.
31. You've ever gone down to your baby daddy's job to get money for pampers, milk, groceries, etc.
32. You don't recycle newspapers but will recycle condoms


:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

	MTII

[Colossus]

LMAO!!

[Colossus]

what do you call three blondes laying on the beach??

Public access.

[Colossus]

How can you tell if a blonde has been in your fridge??

theres lipstick on the cucumber

[Colossus]

what is the mating call of a blonde??

"im so drunk"

[Colossus]

why do blondes wear woolen panties???

to keep their ankles warm

[Colossus]

whats the difference between a blonde and a Ritz cracker??

one is a snack cracker the other is a crack snacker

[Colossus]

what do you give a blonde who has everything?


Penicillin

[Colossus]

why's the blondes coffin shaped like a "Y"


Everytime they hit their back their legs spread